So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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