So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
