Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
