his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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