Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
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