how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
