i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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