I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize