dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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