consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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