Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
