Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
