So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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