Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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