3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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