I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Drake has all the answers
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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