the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
