Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize