Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
