i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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