We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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