Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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