DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize