i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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