I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
