This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He felt like a one man threesome
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
