did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
