Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
