dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
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She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.