Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.