Why are handjobs necessary in class?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
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Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.