when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
