I just cut my nipple shaving
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
