that's an acceptable place to lick
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
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I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
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He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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