we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
