I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
