I am spending my child support on dildos
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
