ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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