he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
