totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
