Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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