One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Someone signed my nipple.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
