were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
