Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
