I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.