Whod you bang
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick