btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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