Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!