I'm so fucking centered right now
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.