it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.