Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.

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  (978): Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you. http://tfl.nu/pcz9
  Replies (16) Good night (975) Bad night (3717)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  so you masturbated because Oprah told you?

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  (603): so you masturbated because Oprah told you? http://tfl.nu/qr8j
  Replies (11) Good night (3495) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.

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  (770): Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again. http://tfl.nu/e3vl
  Replies (22) Good night (3877) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow

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  (407): Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow http://tfl.nu/4rys
  Replies (5) Good night (3645) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  You're welcome.

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  (541): Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes. (1-541): You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/axhz
  Replies (6) Good night (2320) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.

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  (810): Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor. http://tfl.nu/mqcd
  Replies (8) Good night (1930) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...

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  (228): how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it... http://tfl.nu/36tz
  Replies (5) Good night (766) Bad night (948)
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  (631): View more from New York

  when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.

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  (631): when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro. http://tfl.nu/xp1k
  Replies (4) Good night (1551) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"

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  (812): They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage" http://tfl.nu/yp3v
  Replies (5) Good night (1327) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down

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  (860): You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down http://tfl.nu/2dmo
  Replies (4) Good night (874) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??

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  (404): Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!?? http://tfl.nu/bcjv
  Replies (0) Good night (572) Bad night (1604)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs

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  (480): i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs http://tfl.nu/4neu
  Replies (5) Good night (997) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock

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  (919): I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock http://tfl.nu/ok2j
  Replies (4) Good night (499) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.

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  (715): I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me. http://tfl.nu/kgj7
  Replies (4) Good night (249) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head

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  (678): I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head http://tfl.nu/w84k
  Replies (3) Good night (283) Bad night (199)

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