I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she peed on how many people?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
