So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
