Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
