I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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