it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
