why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
