i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize