Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
is it fun? or sober?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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