Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
