Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
