Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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