found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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