i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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