Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Alive.
So much puke
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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