I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
