I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
