if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We are all done wearing pants today
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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