Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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