i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He did a backflip because drugs
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
