Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
