I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
