You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
