I like to think it a success when the cops are called
operation have a gay friend backfired
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
